


O no I hope I don't fall

by EverythingButColdFire



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Asexual Remus Lupin, Demiromantic Remus Lupin, Drunk Confession, Drunk Sirius Black, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Get Together, M/M, Oblivious Remus Lupin, Vacation, based on a tiktok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-18 20:14:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28872882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EverythingButColdFire/pseuds/EverythingButColdFire
Summary: Remus and Sirius are roommates in their late twenties. They’re on a weekend trip to see a T. Rex cover band and to rent a boat for shiggles.This is inspired by that tiktok where that lady drunkenly falls off a boat.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 9
Kudos: 73





	O no I hope I don't fall

**Author's Note:**

> Here’s the full video of the lady falling off the boat. The meme that inspired me to write this piece of shit used 0:06-0:14 and played the o no i hope i dont fall music (I couldn't find it on youtube, lol sry)
> 
> https://youtu.be/8bDOnuLbCCc
> 
> This is the first fic I’ve ever finished and posted, I’d love to hear any feedback on it! I literally haven’t done any creative writing since I was forced to against my will in high school, but I discovered fanfiction like 6 months ago and I’ve been having a blast with it since then. Also its unbetaed and I’m not British, so if you see any mistakes or anything upsettingly unbritish, please let me know so I can fix it!
> 
> Also none of the characters belong to me obviously and I do NOT support JKR and her TERFy bullshit

Remus was sat next to Sirius on the train, they each had one ear bud connected to Sirius's phone, which was playing Electric Warrior, with The Slider and Tanx queued up next.

"I can't believe James and Lily didn't want to come with us," Sirius said.

"I don't think you can bring a kid to see a T. Rex cover band. And they wouldn’t even fully appreciate it, James has never appreciated good music."

Sirius scoffed, "That's for damn sure. He just always wants to know what the kids are listening to these days."

"Remember when you legitimately thought Billie Eilish was spelled Billy Eyelash?'"

Sirius cackled, "Listen, I only know music that came out before the year 1990, why would I know who that is?"

"You know, when I told my mum we were going to this, and she casually mentioned that she SAW T. Rex in the 70s."

"WHAT?! She SAW Marc Bolan in the flesh??"

"That's what I said!! I asked her for a play by play and she just said, 'O I don't know, they played music.'"

"That's it?? She didn't have any more details??"

"I know! I guess it was a long time ago, but still, you'd think it would've made an impression."

"Honestly! I'm going to call her up and demand more information, I can't believe she's been sitting on this.” They settled into a comfortable silence as Life's a Gas started up.

It was Friday evening, and they were on a train to Cornwall. A few weeks previously, Remus had been reminiscing about summers he had spent with his grandparents on their boat, when Sirius had mentioned he had never been on a boat before. Remus had been wanting to go to the beach ever since. When they had seen that T. Rextasy was performing at a venue near the beach on Saturday, they'd decided to make a weekend out of it. It was summer and the forecast predicted warm and sunny weather all weekend. It was perfect.

Remus and Sirius had been living together for the best part of the last 18 years. From boarding school in their teenage years, to a shared flat with James and Lily during college, to their current two bedroom apartment where they had moved when James and Lily had gotten married. Living with Sirius was honestly the best. They both had an affection for tidiness that James certainly hadn't shared so their place was always spotless. James would hassle them, saying that it looked like a model home, to which Sirius would reply, "Would a model home have a shrine to David Bowie at the center of the living room?" They indeed had a frankly ridiculous amount of David Bowie posters, photos, and other memorabilia adorning the wall above their shared record collection, pride of place.

On Saturday mornings they would clean the apartment together, Remus cleaning the surfaces and Sirius cleaning the floors, because sweeping and mopping was hard on Remus's bad back. On Sunday nights, they would meal prep for the week, Remus would chop vegetables while Sirius assembled the final product, as he was objectively the better cook. They went almost everywhere together, to see James, Lily, and Harry, to the movie theater, to visit Remus's mother, go to the grocery store. They did pretty much everything together, aside from work.

Their personalities complemented each other perfectly. Remus's default setting was to be a reclusive homebody, so Sirius would drag him out into the world to socialize. Remus’s calm, pragmatic nature tempered Sirius's impulsiveness. At this point, Remus couldn't even imagine his life without Sirius in it.

When they arrived, the sun was setting over the water, making for very scenic views on the walk to the hotel Remus had booked. They checked in and walked up the stairs to the room.

"You only got one bed?" Sirius said surveying the room with an odd expression on his face.

"Well yes, is that a problem? It was cheaper and had a view of the ocean and – well, it’s not like it’s a small bed. But I can talk to the front desk –“

"It's fine Remus, you're right as usual, don't worry about it," Sirius assured him with his usual careless smile back in place. "If I kick you in the middle of the night, you have no one to blame but yourself."

Remus chuckled, "That's quite alright." He honestly hadn't given it much thought. He still slept on the same twin bed from his childhood, having dragged it from his childhood home to multiple apartments. A king sized bed seemed excessively large to him. He supposed he should have asked Sirius, but he hadn't thought he would have minded, since they were so close.

Much later, after walking around town for a bit and grabbing food at a local Thai place, they ended up back in the hotel room. Remus was lying in bed reading when Sirius came out of the shower. He was acting kind of strangely, Remus couldn't put his finger on it. He wouldn't look at Remus and seemed to putter around nervously for no apparent reason, moving his stuff around a few times before finally climbing into bed next to him.

"Mind if I turn the light off?" Remus asked.

"No, go ahead," Sirius said softly.

Remus flicked them off and then settled under the covers.

"I’ve set an alarm for 8, so we can get breakfast and head down to the boat rental place before it gets too late. I was thinking we could do a 2 hour rental? Anything more than that and the price starts to add up. Then we can do sightseeing or whatever in the afternoon before the concert."

Sirius chuckled a little, "Sounds great Rem, thanks for planning everything, I don't know what I'd do without you."

"O no problem," Remus smiled to himself.

After a few moments Remus was knocked out, tired from a full day of work and the subsequent traveling. It seemed like a long time had passed when he heard his alarm going off the next morning. He was so warm and comfortable, he never wanted to move. He opened his eyes and startled a bit when he felt Sirius's breath on his neck and realized Sirius was lying against his side, one arm thrown over his chest. As he reached one arm out to snooze his alarm, Sirius began to stir, wrapping his arm around him a little tighter and pulling him closer for a few seconds, before inhaling sharply and quickly rolling away, as if Remus had burned him.

"Sorry Remus," he mumbled, sounding a little anguished.

"No worries," Remus replied. Now that Sirius was gone, he found that he missed his warm comforting presence at his side. It had felt really nice.

He supposed he could understand why Sirius would react like that to their intimate positioning. Remus had come out to him as asexual five years before and since then, Sirius had been extremely respectful of his sexuality. He always managed to do so in a way that didn’t feel infantilizing and overbearing, which Remus was endlessly grateful for.

In any situation where the topic of sex came up, be it among friends or among strangers when they were out, Sirius seemed to have a sixth sense for noticing when Remus was getting uncomfortable and would subtly steer the conversation away. He knew party games like ‘never have I ever’ and ‘truth or dare’ had the potential to make him borderline panic, so he would either convince everyone to do something else, or he would remove Remus from the situation, dragging him to the kitchen for food or outside to get some air.

He rarely touched Remus, seemingly afraid it would make him uncomfortable. That had really been the biggest change. Before Remus had come out, Sirius would casually touch him all the time. He didn’t mind at all, he honestly missed it a bit. He had considered telling Sirius it was ok to touch him, but he didn’t want to seem ungrateful when he was obviously making an effort to be respectful.

Sirius seemed a little distant for a bit but was back to his usual self after having a strong bloody mary at breakfast. When they returned to the room to pack some things up for the boat, Sirius produced a bottle of whiskey.

“Are you really bringing that?” Remus asked.

“Yeah, we’re on vacation Rem! I thought getting drunk on a boat was an essential part of the experience!”

“Can’t argue with that,” he chuckled.

They packed up some supplies and Sirius put on the backpack as they headed out the door.

"I can't believe you unironically wear crocs, who the fuck are you?" Remus said as they walked down to the beach.

"Oi! James got me started on them, they're so comfortable! And I thought it would be good to wear something waterproof cause there will, in fact, be water out there."

"I just think they clash a bit with your punk rock aesthetic," he chuckled.

"Punk rock is a state of mind, Remus."

"What does that even mean? Also I can't believe you're wearing so much sunscreen on your nose like that, I thought people only did that in movies. I'm embarrassed to be seen with you."

"First of all, no you’re not. And also, do you think skin cancer is joke? My nose burns so easily!"

"Alright, fair enough," Remus smiled fondly. Sirius was so silly, he was unapologetically himself, it was one of Remus's favorite things about him. Also he had to admit, he was totally pulling off the sunscreen nose/crocs look somehow without looking like the biggest dork.

Remus had no problems renting the boat, and before long, they were driving out past the harbor into open water. There was an excellent view of the town and of the coastline. He slowed down so they could appreciate it.

"Wow, the hills look beautiful. And it’s so much cooler out here. How do you like being on a boat?" Remus asked.

"Remus, I have something to tell you," Sirius said.

"What's that?"

"I can't swim."

Remus laughed and turned to look at him, "What?" He was sure he was joking. How could he make it to 29 without knowing how to swim?

"My parents never taught me, and I've never had to. The most water I've been in is when I fell in that puddle when we were visiting your mum in Wales."

Remus frowned, "O shit, that actually makes sense. I always thought you overreacted to that, but I didn't want to say anything."

"That water was disgusting and my head went under, I panicked. Sorry Rem," he actually looked pretty nervous.

"Hey, it's ok, they gave us life vests for a reason, nothing to worry about. Do you want to go back?"

"No! No, that's ok, we still have an hour and a half. You said you wanted to go up the coast a bit?"

"Yeah, alright, if you want to go back, just say the word."

Remus tried to drive slower and more carefully, and before long Sirius was having a grand old time. That was probably due to the alcohol more than anything. Unfortunately, he lost track of time a bit and they made it back a little closer to the two hour deadline than he would have liked.

"Alright, put the life vests away and grab all our stuff, I'll run over and return the keys, and meet you back here," Remus said, grabbing his phone out of the backpack, tossing his life vest at Sirius, and hopping onto the dock. He was NOT about to get charged for an extra hour for being a few minutes late.

Mercifully, he made it with two minutes to spare. Breathing a sigh of relief, he walked back to meet Sirius, who was currently perched at the side of the boat, one hand on the roof, drunkenly staring off into the distance.

Remus smiled fondly. He looked properly pissed, he was such a lightweight. He probably shouldn't have let him drink so much, but he had been having such a great time. And drunk Sirius was always fun to be around.

When he got close enough, he pulled out his phone to film Sirius drunkenly stumbling off the boat to send to James and Lily. Suddenly Sirius took a step down towards the back of the boat, promptly lost his footing, then proceeded to fall in the slowest, most comical way, spinning around and clutching weakly at the guard rail. He landed softly on his back with his head and shoulders over the water, then slowly sank headfirst under the surface. At no point was he in any control of the situation, an unfocused, baffled expression on his face the whole time.

It was the funniest goddam thing he had ever seen until he remembered with a stab of panic that Sirius couldn't swim.

"SHIT!" Remus shouted, throwing his phone and Birkenstocks on the dock and jumping into the water.

Sirius was floundering uselessly upside down, sinking deeper underwater. As quickly as he could, Remus wrapped an arm around his middle, pulling him close to his chest before dragging him up to the surface. As soon as his head broke the surface, Sirius latched on to Remus with a vice like grip, throwing his arms around his neck and wrapping his legs around him. Remus struggled to stay afloat for a moment before reaching up and grabbing onto the back of the boat to steady them.

"Holy shit, are you alright?" Remus gasped, breathing hard.

Sirius didn't answer, coughing and shaking violently, still clutching onto Remus as if his life depended on it. “Hey, you’re ok, you’re safe now, its gonna be ok…” Remus murmured reassurances in his ear and rubbed his hand soothingly over his back until his coughing subsided and he calmed down enough to speak.

"You're amazing, Rem. You’re the fucking best," he mumbled, his voice hoarse.

Remus laughed weakly, "You scared the shit out of me.”

“Sorry,” Sirius mumbled.

"Don’t apologize! C'mon, lets get out of here, the water's fucking freezing.”

Sirius loosened his grip slightly, but didn't let go as Remus maneuvered them to the stepladder. Sirius clambered up and collapsed on the deck. Remus followed him up, then went to the front of the boat and fished two towels out of their backpack.

"Here," Remus murmured, wrapping one of the towels around Sirius.

"Ah, thanks Rem, you're so nice."

"No problem," Remus chuckled.

They sat on the deck for a few minutes before Remus suggested they go back to land before he could fall in again. Sirius couldn't walk in a straight line, and Remus was not taking any chances, so he put an arm around his waist to steady him as they walked back to the shore.

Sirius noticeably relaxed once they got back to dry land and Remus guiltily found himself wondering if he'd gotten so drunk because he was afraid of the ocean. He looked at his friend and startled a little when he found him already staring at him with a look on his face that he couldn't quite read.

"Lets go back to the hotel so we can change and get a nap in before the concert, yeah?"

"Whatever you want, Rem," Sirius slurred.

The hotel was a 15 minute walk away. By the time they got there, he was basically dragging his friend. He threw the door open and deposited Sirius on the bed, who promptly relaxed backward.

"Whoa, not yet, you've got to drink some water."

Remus grabbed a large water bottle and hauled Sirius into a sitting position, wrapping one arm around his shoulders to steady him.

"C'mon, drink some of this," he unscrewed the lid for him and held it up to his mouth. He didn't trust him to not spill it everywhere in his current state.

Sirius was surprisingly agreeable. But he supposed Sirius usually did what he asked. He looked back at Sirius and found him staring at him with that strange expression again. He was leaning heavily on Remus.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” Sirius slurred. His voice was so drunk and earnest that he couldn’t help laughing a little.

“I could say the same thing about you,” he said and the smile that gave Sirius was comically bright.

"I can't believe you saved me like that, you're like a fucking super hero, like – fucking – Jason Momoa," Sirius breathed, his eyes wide.

Remus laughed loudly, "As Aquaman? Or as Khal Drogo?"

Sirius scoffed, "Aquaman, _obviously_ , he's a very strong swimmer, just like you.” Sirius booped his nose with a finger on ‘you’. “Khal Drogo's not a super hero and he's creepy as fuck."

"Wow, that's an unpopular opinion. I thought everyone thought he was hot?"

"No _way_ , he's not hot,” he said indignantly. “You know who's hot? Ben Whishaw."

Remus choked, "Paddington Bear??"

"Nooooo! _What?_ Not the fucking bear! Like in Skyfall and Spectre as Q! He had the cutest jumpers, and his hair was all fluffy and disheveled, holy shit."

"I guess I can see it, I did like the jumpers," he chuckled.

"You love cute jumpers."

He hummed in agreement and tipped the water bottle up to his mouth again.

"You're _so_ pretty, Rem," Sirius slurred.

Remus chuckled a little, Sirius would always compliment him when he was drunk. "Thanks friend," he said with a small smile. Sirius's face fell a little and he wondered if he’d said the wrong thing.

"I mean it," Sirius said emphatically.

Sirius was still staring at him, his eyes too wide, almost pleading. There was a very weird energy between them, and he really didn't know what to do about it, so he tried changing the subject.

"Are you excited to see T. Rex?"

His face lit up. "Yessss," Sirius gushed. "I loveeee T. Rex." He grinned dopily for a few seconds. "But not as much as I love you."

Remus chuckled lightly, "I love you too, Siri."

"Noooo, I mean it," he slurred, emphasizing every word, his eyes burning with sincerity. "I _love_ you. I've loved you for so long. You're the kindest, best person, you always make everything ok. And you're so pretty. And you fucking saved my life." There were tears falling down his face now.

Remus's brain froze to a standstill. Holy shit, he meant it like...he was in _love_ with him? The room jolted a little as that clunked into place in his mind. He stared blankly at Sirius, opening his mouth then closing it again several times as his mind worked furiously to process this information.

"You – er – fancy me?" he said slowly, wanting to be sure, his heart beating too quickly and his ears ringing.

" _Yesssss_ ," Sirius said, relief washing over his face at being understood. " _So_ much."

He was leaning towards Remus now, staring at his mouth, closing the distance, and Remus suddenly figured it out –

"Wait!" he said in a strangled yelp, stopping him with the hand holding the water bottle. Sirius's chin collided with it with a dull metallic thunk. "Don't - you can't - you're drunk," he stammered.

Sirius was looking tearful again, "I'm such an idiot."

"No! No, you're fine, we'll talk about this when you're sober."

"Ok," Sirius looked so dejected.

He sat with Sirius silently, making sure he slowly drank the entire water bottle. Sirius didn't take his eyes off him the whole time.

"Ok, time for your nap," Remus said, getting up to set the water bottle down. Sirius promptly flopped backwards, his legs still hanging off the bed.

"C'mon, scoot up, you'll fuck up your back like that."

Sirius sniffed softly but didn't make any effort to move. Remus sighed before walking to his side. Gripping under his arms, he hauled him up so he was lying properly on the bed, then carefully rolled him over onto his left side. He removed his shoes and threw a blanket over him before lying down next to him, staring at his sleeping face.

He felt so out of his depth. He'd never done _anything_ before, not even kissed. He'd really never wanted anyone like that. Not enough to do anything about it. But now, here was Sirius, telling him in no uncertain terms that he was _in love with him_. What could he possibly say to that?

Asexuality was so hard to pin down. He still had doubts about it sometimes. Some days he was honing in on absolute certainty that he was fully aroace and had never had any desire for romance, much less sex, in his entire life, even though he knew that was objectively untrue. Some days he was convinced that he was making it all up to construct an elaborate excuse for his nonexistent love life, even though that wouldn’t explain why he’d never had a proper crush on anyone, not even a celebrity.

He had always felt confused and alienated by the sex obsessed culture, growing up. When he had stumbled across the term “asexuality” in a youtube video in his early 20s, everything suddenly made sense in a way it never had before. Even then it had taken months of introspection, soul searching, and thinking through hypothetical situations before he’d fully accepted that asexuality described his experience of the world.

But this wasn’t a hypothetical situation, this was Real and he had to decide what he was going to do about it. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't thought about Sirius like that before. Or tried to at least. He had never been able to wrap his head around sex, but dating and romance? That was something he'd wanted to try, with the right person.

Years ago, when he was trying to come to terms with his asexuality, he'd thought long and hard about who he would want to date, in theory. Thinking about different genders didn’t get him anywhere, so he focused on people. He knew it had to be someone he trusted, someone who was kind and understanding and respectful of him. He couldn’t imagine going on even a single date with a stranger, so he figured it had to be someone who he already knew well and got along with. Out of all the people he knew and possibly could think of, the only person he could see himself with was Sirius.

He hadn't been holding out any hope though, and had honestly almost forgotten about it by now, as Sirius never showed any interest in him and had clearly shown interest in sex. He'd certainly brought several blokes home during the years they had been living together, not that any of them had lasted very long. So he’d just assumed Sirius wouldn't be interested in him if he couldn't fuck him. That had been a bit of a hard pill to swallow, but he'd made peace with it a long time ago. Besides, dating had never been a priority for him. He would be fine with it if it never happened. But he had decided years ago that if for some reason Sirius ever asked him, he would say yes.

With all these thoughts and feelings reawakened by the current situation, he found that this was still true. Of course it was. Sirius was lovely, he was perfect, he felt _safe_ with him, of course he wanted to be with him.

This realization came with a wave of apprehension that made him feel a little sick to his stomach because what would being with him mean exactly? He wasn’t sure what he would be able to offer Sirius and he was even less sure what Sirius wanted from him. He was slightly terrified of _doing things_ , especially because he felt way too old to be so inexperienced, but he didn’t think Sirius would judge him for that. Besides, he had to know what Remus was like and was still in love with him. 

He laid there, thoughts swirling endlessly in his head, waking Sirius up every 15 minutes to make sure he wasn't so drunk he'd have to take him to the hospital. After he was quite sure he was ok to sleep it off, he showered and changed, then laid back down next to him. He was glad Sirius was passed out, so he had a little time to get used to the idea that his best friend was in love with him. And also time to get used to the fact that he was in love with his best friend.

He must have dozed off because suddenly he awoke to his phone alarm going off, a reminder to get ready for the concert.

His stomach clenched with apprehension and uncertainty and something else as Sirius stirred next to him, groaning and rolling over onto his back, covering his face with his hands.

"Oh fuck," he murmured softly. Then he gasped in a sharp breath, "oh FUCK. Fuckfuckfuck nonono," his hands were digging into his face.

Remus swallowed thickly. This was it. "Alright Sirius?" he said gently.

Sirius froze. "Remus?" his voice was wretched. "Did I – o fuck, please tell me I didn’t –“

"Its ok," he said quickly.

"No it isn't! I can't believe I tried to – o fuck, I'm so sorry, are you ok?"

Remus's heart melted a little, "I'm fine, its ok, you were drunk, don't worry about it."

"Ughhhh I'm such a piece of shit. I'm so sorry, I swear I was never going to tell you, I'll head back home and pack up my things –“

"Don't be ridiculous! I – I’m glad you told me." His stomach was in knots.

Silence.

"Because – I – well – I sort of fancy you too," he whispered.

Sirius snapped his head over to look at him for the first time, his eyes wide. "What?" he breathed.

"I – fuck – like you. I don't know exactly what it means, you know I've never really – well, done anything like this before –“

"That's ok, Rem, fuck, that's why I never said anything. I thought you didn't want – well, I googled it and the internet said some aces want relationships and some don't. And you never seemed interested in a relationship, so I just figured you didn't want one."

He took a deep breath, he was so nervous, he felt like he was going to throw up, but he felt it would be best to get it all out on the table. "I – well – I sort of – fuck, sorry I don't really know how to explain it, I've spent so much time thinking about it and it still doesn't make sense to me sometimes. I guess – well – I’ve never really wanted a relationship enough to actively seek one out, if that makes sense? It always seemed like way more effort than its worth. And I don't really even get attracted to people in that way. I've always sort of liked the idea of being in a romantic relationship, but I can't imagine – it can't just be some random person, it has to be someone I know and trust and like a lot. Well, someone like you. I guess I might be demiromantic, if you know what that is? But all the – you know – sex and stuff, I just don't know about that, I really don't know if I'd even like to try it. But the other stuff, like kissing and cuddling and going on cute picnic dates or whatever, well, that all seems nice. And if – if you want that with me, I’d like that."

"That's fine Rem, fuck, it’s all fine, whatever you want, I'd love to go on picnics with you, if you don't want to do anything sexy that's fine, whatever you're comfortable with, I just want you," he sounded so breathless and sincere, it made Remus’s chest constrict.

"Are – are you sure? I thought you wouldn’t want – I don't want you to like – give up sex because of me."

"Remus, I'm sure. I – fuck – that day, the day you told me you were ace, I'd been pining after you for so fucking long. I had been psyching myself up all day, all week really, I was going to tell you how I felt about you. And when you said ... well I couldn't just follow that up with a love confession."

"Siri, that was _5 years ago_ ," he breathed.

"Yeah, I fucking know," he laughed, "It's ridiculous! I tried to get over it and find someone else, hence all the sex, but, I don't even want to date anyone because I'd rather hang out with you. You're just...its always been you. I mean, its not like I’ve been resentfully suffering in silence all this time, I love what we have, its just in the back of my mind sometimes. And I guess my drunk brain couldn't handle it when you saved my drunk arse earlier."

Remus felt a gut wrenching wave of emotion swelling up through his chest and stinging his throat. Fondness? Melancholy? Longing? Happiness? All of the above? "I feel the same way. You’re the only person I could ever see myself with," he said quietly.

Sirius made a small strangled noise.

"I just – we – Sirius, we already do everything together. You're my best friend. I love you. I love living with you, I love doing everything with you, I love doing nothing with you. For fuck's sake, we bought an air fryer together, we're basically married already."

Sirius laughed thickly, "I love you so fucking much Rem."

Remus felt light headed, he couldn't believe this was really happening. "Well, alright then."

Sirius stared at him like he wasn't sure he was real. "What – what do we do now?"

Remus's heart was pounding in his throat. "I – can – can you kiss me?"

Sirius looked like he might cry. He nodded, bringing a shaking hand up to cup Remus's cheek before he slowly closed the distance between them and placed the gentlest kiss on his lips. It felt strange. Not quite what he imagined, but it was good. Definitely good.

"Alright?" Sirius whispered.

"Yeah," he smiled.

After the concert, Remus came out of the bathroom to find Sirius lying in bed already, smiling at the ceiling with his eyes closed.

"What are you smiling at?" he asked.

Sirius opened his eyes and grinned softly at him, "You."

Remus couldn't help his dopey grin as he slid into bed next to him.

“I can’t believe I got so drunk I fell off a boat.”

Remus laughed, "I need to teach you how to swim."

"That's for damn sure. Thank you by the way, christ, if you hadn’t been there, that would have been it."

Remus squeezed his hand, "I'm sorry I made you go on a boat, you should have said something."

Sirius laughed, "You didn't make me, I wanted to go, I just...the ocean's scary isn't it? Sorry I got so wasted, I thought it wouldn't be as scary if I was hammered. And I mean it worked, didn’t it? I wasn't scared until I was in the water."

"The way you fell off the boat was the funniest goddam thing I've ever seen, I got a video of it."

"You didn't!" Sirius gasped. "Can I see it?"

Remus pulled it up on his phone and they watched it again and again, laughing till they were both wiping tears off their faces.

“O my god, that shit is hilarious,” Sirius breathed.

“Can I send it to James and Lily?”

“Please do, honestly post it on youtube or something, the world needs to see it,” Sirius said as he reached up and turned off the lights.

They laid next to each other in silence for a moment. Remus suddenly felt quite awkward and out of his depth. He didn’t know what was expected of him. Were they supposed to make out? Did Sirius want that? Did _he_ want that?

“Remus?” His voice broke him out of his thought spiral.

“Hmm?”

“Can I – do you want to cuddle?” He sounded as nervous as he felt.

Remus grinned and breathed out a sigh of relief, “Yeah of course.”

Sirius sighed happily and scooted closer, gently wrapping an arm over his chest and squeezing a little.

“This alright?”

“It’s perfect.”

**Author's Note:**

> I am asexual, so I’ve drawn on personal experience for some of the ace shit in here, as well as internet research, but if you think I’m misrepresenting asexuality and/or demiromanticism, pls let me know what I can do to fix it! Also asexuality is different for everyone and I'm super not trying to imply that this is The Standard Asexual Experience


End file.
